Mark Moss, Troy Broussard, Lisa Benitez, Amy Evans, & Stacey Abbott, summer 2014, Koelsch Gallery, Houston, by Smilebooth.com

On Wednesday, December 31st, we will say goodbye to our dear friend Lisa Benitez, a day that should have been reserved to celebrate her birthday.  Some would say that a funeral should be a day to celebrate her life, but how can one celebrate when a life is cut so short?

I’ve known Lisa for 20 years, give or take a few–I met her through a mutual friend Johnny Hooks.  And it seems to me that everyone in Houston knew her also as she trancended every group and socio-economic class in the city.  She was able to touch lives professionally as well as philathropically.  But most of all she touched lives as a great friend. 

Lisa had an illusrative carreer with Foley’s and Macy’s as an event coordinator.  Her experience managing fashion shows, celebrity events, and store openings was a primer for her ability to handle a myriad of fund-raising benefits and committies.  She worked with the Human Rights Campaign and helped found Planned Parenthood Young Leaders which started the Party Like A Rock Star fundraiser.  I’d also known her to lend her talents to Spacetaker / Fresh Arts, DIFFA, Houston Downtown Alliance, Jane’s Due Process, and the Houston Community College Central Advisory Board to name a couple.  I even attended one of her Wendy Davis events–I had no intention of standing with Wendy, but I had every intention of supporting my friend’s endeavor.

No matter the cause or event, you needed Lisa on your side…

She combined her abilities of event planning and fund raising when she became events manager for the Center of Hearing and Speech where she cooridinated the Via Colori Street Painting Festival.  She also had a stint as events manager for Planned Parenthood.

Lisa Benitez in Puerto Villarta, photo courtesy of Jill Schwarz

It didn’t take much for Lisa to spring into action.  The very week she took ill we spoke of the aniMeals fundraiser (on which I am lending a hand) and she offered her services. She was tireless when it came to defending human rights, the arts, and animals.  Her obit in the Houston Chronicle said, “She got involved instead of standing by.”

Likewise, we met in September to discuss the TroysArt blog.  As I had hoped, Lisa had plenty of ideas; and she helped me develop the Dog on Monday weekly feature, which is the reason her little Elliot Piccone Benitez was my first Dog on Monday.  In another discussion over a glass of wine about my blog she pitched the idea of chronicling the life of a nice, smart, and good-looking guy in a major city who finds it impossible to date–kind of like Sex in the City for a guy.  After establishing that she was actually referring to me, I convinced her that no one would be interested in my No Sex in the City column….

In the romance department, Lisa kissed a few toads herself.  But in the last few years she found love within our group of friends in John Hitt–kind of like our own Chandler & Monica.  John & Lisa had a great relationship.  And how excited was I when the couple moved onto my block and became my neighbors?  Without the specifics of her sudden illness, less than two weeks ago John found Lisa on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood and now his life is forever changed.

Not only has John’s life changed, but Lisa’s family is devastated.  The Benitez clan is known to have been one of the most family-centric of all of our friends’.  A rather large and energetic group they traveled together and counted on Lisa much like her friends did.  Lisa seemed to be a unifying force in all matters.  Planning a funeral and memorial service without Lisa’s guidance is no doubt a monumental task.

Yes, Lisa could pull events and parties together but she was also a master of apparel.  I always considered Lisa Benitez to be one of the best dressed women in town.  And not in the sense of spending endless resources at Neiman Marcus to make her fashion statements but rather she just had a knack, a talent for fashion.  I doubt I ever saw the same look twice and it was all done on a real American budget.  It was probably the way she accessorized–there was always a dazzling hat, a scarf, or a piece of statement jewelry.  I often wondered how she had room in her closet for all the components of her wardrobe.

A Halloween selfie with Graham Gemoets & Lisa Benitex, 2014

She had many friends, and great friends too.  She wasn’t just a popular gal, she was an excellent judge of character and she was loyal.  This woman was loved and always surrounded by lifelong friends.  So many people have a quantity of friends but for Lisa it was a steadfast assemblage of disciples.  She was a connoisseur and a collector of quality people.

I loved how so many people changed their Facebook profile pics to one of Lisa in recent days.  When I did I felt weird to get a few responses saying, “So sorry for your loss.”  My heart goes out to so many of the exceptional people who were her core, the ones who will be left with such a tremendous void in their lives.  And in so many ways I believe that Lisa was the glue that bound so many people.

“Wait, Lisa, I’m not ready!”

I love the picture at the top, the one I used for my Facebook page banner.  Last summer Lisa was my date to celebrate Franny Koelsch‘s marriage.  There was a self-serve photo station by Smilebooth and Lisa absolutely took over, pulling groups of friends in front of the backdrop and snapping away.  (Notice, the shutter button is in her hand.)  The party was great fun then Lisa and I closed out the evening at a few of our favorite neighborhood spots in River Oaks Shopping Center, La Griglia and Marfreless.

Within recent days, despite a fancy mattress and various sleep-aids, my slumber has been more like a gymnastics routine with all the tossing and turning.  And though I know that there has been much said by many lately with much more to come, I felt compelled to get up and bang out these thoughts about our fabulous friend.

It is a sad time, and like my anger I handle my grief by pushing it deep down inside me into a tight little ball that eventually builds up and freaking ‘splodes.  But I am often plagued with another more outwardly manifestation of stress, grief, and anxiety in the form of irritable bowel syndrome.  When I found out on Saturday that Lisa passed away I was at work and it was too late to cancel appointments.  I pulled myself together and headed to Humble to meet clients.  The rain was coming down in sheets and my mind was racing.  In a panic I pulled over at the nearest restaurant for an explosion of another kind.  Of course I ordered food–it’s not right to defile a restroom that way and not place an order.  By the time I made several stops and got to my client’s house I had a trunk full of food, it was like a progressive dinner without actually ever eating anything.

To many of us it still feels like a lie, like it’s not real.  But on Wednesday when Lisa’s family and friends meet for a final farewell we will all be faced with the reality and finality of this whole nightmare.  And then we will miss her for the rest of our lives.